Why I’m Not Judging the Murder Hornets Until I Hear Both Sides

Recently, news broke about the Asian giant hornet, also known as the “murder hornet” entering North America for the first time. Everyone was quick to assume the worst of these murder hornets and blamed the world ending on them. Not me, though, I’m a logical and rational person who likes to wait until I hear both sides of the story before I judge.


Everyone thinks that 2020 is ruined because of the murder hornets, but has anybody heard their side of the story? Nature is complex, and for all we know, murder hornets could be a huge benefit to our ecosystem! Just because you hear of a bug that sometimes causes cardiac arrest or kidney failure or skin hemorrhaging doesn’t mean it’s evil or bad! Maybe it has a story you just don’t know about yet.



For instance, what if all the other bugs are too busy eating up all the food murder hornets want to eat, and that’s why they’re forced against their will to murder? What if every time a murder hornet stings someone 30 times causing them to need emergency treatment, it feels really, really bad about it? I bet you’re reconsidering judging the murder hornets as bad now.


And yeah, they kill native honeybees, an insect that we all desperately cannot lose and that the entire ecosystem depends on. Yeah, that’s a huge bummer, but have you ever considered that native honeybees might be huge assholes? Like, what if native honey bees made fun of the murder hornets face a bunch, and the murder hornets tried to brush it off but then the native honey bees started making fun of the murder hornets’ moms and crossed a line? Kind of sounds like the bees deserve it now, huh?


I’m not saying anything I just wrote is remotely close to truthful; I just think that actual nice people wait to hear both sides until they make their judgments. And that’s why I’m waiting for the murder hornets to tell their side of the story, unlike you assholes.