Ways To Keep Telling Yourself, ‘Sure, I Guess It Is a Wonderful Life?’

Every year, it gets a bit harder to believe that your hometown would turn into a miserable wasteland ruled by an evil old man if you were never born. You suspect that you can still be a worthless failure that made no impact on the world whatsoever—especially if all your friends are already married with small children and can never hang out. When it seems like there’s no hope, check this list twice instead of making an angel teach you a lesson or whatever:


Go “off the grid” and see what happens.

Suddenly deactivate all your social media accounts. Stop liking, tweeting, and re-blogging and sit back until at least one person notices. It could take awhile, but the day you get that, “Hey, did you delete Facebook? I’m having a party tomorrow” text message, you’ll realize how important you are. At least three of these people clearly couldn’t function without you.


Remind yourself that you can feel.

It’s easy to revert to your usual state of useless sedentary lump when winter hibernation mode rolls around. Check your pulse, make a naked snow angel, or watch Schindler’s List to remind yourself you still have a connection to the human condition as well as semi-normal reaction times. Life is beautiful, and you shouldn’t have to see the Bizarro World hag version of your future spouse to realize it.



Heavily exaggerate that good thing you did that one time.

Remember when you signed for your neighbors’ package when they weren’t home? Drop that into your next conversation with said neighbor. You’ll remind yourself that there are good people out there: You! Remind her of your name first because she has a tendency to forget.


Hallucinate an angel.

Clarence still hasn’t visited you yet? Don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of people praying for you after you spend a few days in deep conversation with an angel that is a product of a generous dose of ayahuasca. Use your heavenly guide to see how bleak your life would be without you in it. Who would vet your Netflix suggestions? You matter.


Bring every conversation back to our inescapable mortality.

Your roommate got a great promotion? Your mom’s getting remarried? These special moments are made even more special by consistently reminding everyone of our inevitable and impending death. By making others see how wonderful life is, you will see it, too.


There you have it! Looks like it’s a wonderful life, after all.