After taking a quiz to find out her and her boyfriend’s love languages, Denise discovered her love language was in fact, the Netflix TV show, Grace and Frankie.
“No wonder our relationship was on the rocks,” Denise explained. “Eddie yearns for physical touch, while I yearn for seeing Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda look fucking amazing at 80. Well that, and knowing you are never too old to make meaningful friendships.” Denise sighs, “Damn, what a great show.”
While Denise is thrilled with this new insight into her personality, her boyfriend, Eddie Vale fears she is reading too much into it.
“She keeps asking me if I’m secretly gay with my business partner Frank,” Vale says. “I don’t know how many more times I can tell her that there is nothing between Frank and I because he is literally my cousin.”
When she’s not getting high off her enormous Frankie-inspired bong, or drinking Grace-worthy vodka martinis, Denise can now be found at home making natural lubricants.
“Sometimes I’ll ask her if she wants me to get her a gift for her birthday or just write down how I feel about her in a card,” says Vale. “And she’ll say something like, ‘I’m thinking of retiring and living on the beach with my accidental best friend.’”
Denise hasn’t figured out how she would be able to afford it. “Plus Eddie loves when I rub his feet and doesn’t want me to leave him for a fictional life.”
She says ultimately if there is one thing she’s learned from learning about love languages is that female friendship is key to a healthy society.
“I think women are learning to work together and appreciate each other. We must aim to be less competitive and mean-spirited, and more uplifting,” Denise said thoughtfully. “At least that’s what I want. Eddie probably wishes we’d have sex more often.”
