As more and more cities order their residents to shelter-in-place, people everywhere are planning for their days inside, and Houston resident Clara Bart is no exception: This 28-year-old got ahead of her quarantine needs by stocking up on jars and jars of applesauce, which is gross.
“I was struggling to figure out how to eat fruit and limit trips to the store, and that’s when it hit me,” says Clara. “I’ll just get a ton of applesauce.”
Objectively, wow, that’s gross.
Though Clara could have gotten frozen fruit, or even real apples that last basically forever in the fridge, she boldly forwent all facts, reason, and personal dignity to instead grab several units of light brown apple mush for babies and the criminally elderly.
“I know it’s controversial, but I actually really like applesauce,” says Clara. “It’s really good with rice or latkes, and it reminds me of being a kid.”
Disgusting and also horrible.
We checked in with Clara’s neighbors to let them know what she was up to with that sauce, and they agreed that it’s freaking gross.
“Applesauce?” said Luz Ortega. “Hm. I don’t really like it. How is Clara doing otherwise?”
Nice try, Luz, but Clara is dead… to us because of eating all that nasty applesauce.
“I got four packs of regular applesauce, but then I also impulse bought some of those squeezy applesauce tubes,” says Clara. “Might as well have some fun with it.”
A true monster! We wish her luck, but less than others.