This Woman Is Having a Baby so It Can Learn to Code and Then Teach Her to Code

Reductress - Pregnant Woman

When Los Angeles, CA resident Penelope Hertz decided she wanted to make a career pivot to tech, she wasn’t sure where to start. The 32-year-old knew she would never learn how to code if she didn’t have a teacher she could really connect with. It was for this reason that Penelope decided the easiest way to get a tech job was to have a baby – a tech whiz baby. Who better to teach her programming than her own spawn?


Sounds like a baby genius is loading!


Unlike Penelope, children today are growing up with an intuitive relationship to technology, which means that Penelope’s baby will learn to code so fast that it will soon be able to teach others, primarily Penelope.


“My baby will be so cute, but most importantly, my baby will be tech minded,” Penelope shared. “They won’t be playing with stuffed animals, but using code to solve complex problems.”


Aw, this aspiring mother is expecting – expecting her baby to know C++!


“Motherhood in the modern age is changing,” Penelope said. “Nowadays, a woman can have a baby not because she wants to build a family, but to birth a precise and accurate coder to help her learn JAVA.”


While child labor laws prevent babies from working at large tech companies, Penelope already has a workaround: She plans on landing a tech job and then having her baby help her do all the work.


“My child will probably skip the babbling stage and go right to Python,” Penelope explained. “This baby has to be proficient in coding because momma wants to be a highly paid engineer.”



This expecting mother also knows that intergenerational knowledge is so important.


“If my baby doesn’t teach me how to code then what was the point of being pregnant for nine months? At least one of us needs to be able to teach the other one something – and it sure isn’t going to be me,” she said. “I can’t even download a PDF.”


In spite of her growing excitement, Penelope is so over being pregnant. She wants to meet her baby so she can get to coding sooner! It’s so sweet how Penelope wants her offspring to be her computer science professor. Just picture those tiny fingers typing away on a keyboard! So cute! This new mommy is so excited to see what she can learn from the miracle that is motherhood, specifically, what kinds of coding languages are out there.