Talk about a design challenge! Wonder Woman’s world-class design team is being celebrated for the new indestructible suit they made for her with never-before-seen custom features. Still, the designers admit there is still more to strive for, especially since they have yet to design a scrunchie that successfully holds their boss’ hair back.
“The suit is impervious to fire and can withstand below freezing temperatures,” says Quentin Brunster, the lead designer on the team. “But I literally have no idea how to make sure her hair stays back for longer than ten minutes. Her hair is so soft and she has all these layers… It seems almost impossible to contain.”
“We are working tirelessly to find a solution,” he added. “But we are hitting a wall. Which is actually something the super suit can withstand. Not the scrunchie though. That’ll fall right off.”
Still, the design techs have vowed to continue putting various resources towards the challenge at hand.
“It was with great pride and joy that we release this supersuit composed of nanotechnology that is able to move and change moment to moment,” says Deirdra Potters, Brunster’s assistant. “This means her suit can shift at will. Unfortunately while she is flying away she will still have flyaways because we cannot for the life of us solve the ‘hair in her face’ issue.”
“Wonder Woman came to us and said, ‘Forget about the suit, the old one is fine, focus on keeping my hair out of my face,’” says a member of the team, Sam Vort. “We tried, but ultimately there is no scrunchie strong enough to keep those gorgeous locks from blocking her view.”
“It sucks too,” he added. “Her being blinded by curls has caused five civilian deaths this year.”
Brunster admits that the design team that solves this problem will make someone the most powerful superhero in the world.
“We’ve tried velvet, elastic, silk, metal, eurojersey,” says the designer. “But everytime she puts it on it immediately slides off. I just… people are dying. The stakes are high.”
When reached for comment, Wonder Woman responded with an official statement.
“I just want a scrunchie. Is this too much to ask? The superhero world is made for men, and this is one more example of how it’s impossible for women to get ahead.”