Ahh, Mondays. It’s as if there’s a poetic synchronicity between the noise of construction outside your office and the dread-filled thoughts increasingly running through your head. Weird, right? Turn feelings of helplessness into actual physical symptoms with these panic-inducing construction sounds!
The sharp, repetitive noise of a jackhammer blends seamlessly with the clacking of office keyboards and the throbbing of your own nervous pulse. It’s the perfect catalyst for your daily internal freakout! Just sync up your breathing to the rapid jackhammer and let the panic take over. Maybe you should have moved to Prague when you had the chance!
Let the dull roar of a drill penetrating concrete work its way into your head and chest. It will soon become part of you, and you will forget what silence was like until it stops and you are left with nothing but the sound of your quickening heartbeat. Why isn’t anybody else crying right now?
Have you finally expressed the anxious voice in your head that says, “Holy shit, Joe, watch it!” ring throughout your silent office building? No, that’s just the sound of some construction workers who are mad at Joe. Joe must’ve really fucked up out there. You wish you could vent your frustrations, but you remind yourself to swallow your feelings because this is an office and feelings are for the outside.
Sporadic Heavy Thumps
Every once in awhile, there’s a reverberating metallic crash from outside that shakes the whole office. You find yourself unable to concentrate, awaiting each new “BOOM” with a feverish alertness. It’s the perfect accompaniment to the state of anxious anticipation you inexplicably carry with you throughout your day. Your boss can tell you didn’t change your underwear since yesterday! You’re fine, haha!
The electric sound of a truck backing up makes you yearn for a beachfront cottage where you don’t stare at a screen all day pretending to be calm. Instead of the sound of waves, you have the repetitive beeping to transport you to the humming robotic futurescape of your nightmares. Is this how it’s really going to end? It is, isn’t it?
The tap-tap-tap always makes you wonder if there is someone at the door before you remember that you’re at work. In a painful office chair. For six more hours. And then silence. You wonder if the tapping has stopped and start to calm down and focus on your breathing until—there!—it starts up again.
Who said panic attacks had to be solitary experiences? These jarring noises have brought the whole office together in boredom and crankiness. Amazing!