The Top 5 Places to Hide Your Massive Microbead Collection

Last month, President Obama signed the Microbead-Free Waters Act of 2015, which bans the use of microbeads in cosmetic products. That’s good news for the environment, but bad news for you, because you have been feverishly collecting microbeads for years! Whoopsie-daisy! Here’s where to hide the precious stash of tiny plastic balls you use to exfoliate your face.


Test Tubes

Store the legions of microbeads you’ve carefully collected and catalogued in miniature test tubes for a failsafe alibi should Uncle Sam come a-knockin. What, this? That’s just for an experiment for which only tiny plastic balls can be used.


Jewelry Box

What if your family rats you out? No problem. Nobody goes near your jewelry box filled with jewelry you got as a gift but never wore. Plus, the little compartments are perfect for sorting by color and year acquired! You’re probably going to need a few more jewelry boxes, though.



Mini Muffin Tin

Mmm, you love mini muffins almost as much as you love microbeads (except you like microbeads a little more because they can never, ever disintegrate)! They’re both so darn cute. Use your backup mini muffin tin to store all your favorite microbeads—blue see-through, light yellow, opaque pink, lil’gray—and your friends and neighbors will be none the wiser. Just tell them it’s some new kind of baking salt!


Your Own Body

They don’t call it “nature’s microbead container” for nothing! If you find yourself needing to hide the vast number of microbeads you’ve amassed on the fly, look no further than your own body cavities. Stuff those tiny cherished spheres into your navel, your ears, between your toes, and anywhere else you can think of. We won’t tell! ;)




If you’re really in a pinch, consider burying your cache in the backyard. That way, the microbeads aren’t even in your house! Happy now, Obama?


If you love your microbeads, don’t go down without a fight! Good luck, and happy beading.