In a disturbing story out of Harrisburg, PA, a local cashier alerted the authorities after a patron of the store emphatically insisted that she actually did want to keep her receipt.
“I usually just ask that question as a formality,” the cashier, who wished to remain anonymous, told reporters. “You know, like the same way you’d ask, ‘Can I help you find anything?’ or ‘Do you need help carrying that to your car?’ I never expected she’d actually say yes. Honestly, I was a little afraid of what she’d do next.”
The patron in question, Maggie Cunningham, claims there was nothing nefarious driving her decision to ask for her receipt.
“I don’t really see what the big deal is,” she told reporters. “I keep all my receipts.”
Authorities have described this behavior as “bone-chilling” and are looking into the real reasons someone would want to hold on to their receipts. They have yet to come forward with their suspicions, but did confirm that “none of them are good.”
Witnesses have corroborated the interaction and agreed that they found the behavior to be “abnormal” and “kind of passive aggressive.”
“Why doesn’t she just say she doesn’t want her receipt and then proceed to never check her bank account out of fear of what she might see?” said one witness. “Like the rest of us!”
Another bystander posed the question, “What, does she think she’s better than us or something?”
Still, the question remains: where does it stop?
“Does she really plan to keep all of her receipts?” said the cashier, after being brought in for questioning. “And then what? Give them to her accountant and maintain an accurate and up-to-date record of her transactions for her taxes? What is this, the 50s?”
These questions sparked the interest of authorities, leading them to wonder if Cunningham is perhaps a time traveler who doesn’t know that digital copies of her transactions exist.
“If that is the case, then we have an even bigger problem on our hands,” said the lead investigator on the scene.
At press time, Cunningham said she didn’t see what was so weird about her behavior, and felt that everyone’s reactions were a bit overblown.
“I can hold onto my receipt if I want,” she said. “It’s not like I’m going to do anything weird with it.”
Experts confirm this defensive and shady statement is not doing Cunningham any favors.
