Study: Most Successful Women Don’t Throw Trash in Their Purse

Breaking the glass ceiling might be a challenge for women at top of their industries, but researchers have discovered a secret that sets successful women apart from the rest. A Harvard study has found that out of the top female CEOs and executives in the United States, 98% have never used their own purse as a waste receptacle.


“We wanted to see if there were certain traits that all of these exceptional women shared beyond owning a lot of blazers,” explained study co-author Meredith Kim, PhD. “And one thing that stood out from the beginning of our research was an almost chilling absence of crumbs in their handbags. It turns out that virtually none of them had ever eaten a poptart on their walk to work and then shoved the wrapper in their own purse because they were too lazy to walk 25 feet to the closest trashcan.”


Photographs presented in the study show various designer handbag interiors featuring a conspicuous lack of used baby wipes, Snapple caps, and gum wadded up into a straw wrapper.


“It turns out, none of the surveyed women had ever shoved a nearly empty coffee cup it in their purse, and had the small amount of coffee left at the bottom spill all over their purse lining,” Kim explained. “I guess that’s why I’m still an adjunct.”



Looking further into this phenomenon, Kim was able to pinpoint a few other qualities associated with using your own handbag as a garbage can. “It turns out these women are also very likely to buy liquor at a Walgreens, talk to their mom for an hour a day on average, and not even know the basics of contouring,” Chang reported.


When asked to comment on the study, Lean In author and CEO Sheryl Sandberg had some advice for women struggling with their careers. “Your own lack of confidence is the greatest obstacle you will have to overcome,” said Sandberg. “Also, stop being fucking disgusting.”


Basically, women who are looking for a promotion might consider not treating their own accessories as a dumpster, even if you did buy that accessory from Target. What else do these successful women have in common? The study found that 100% of the surveyed women had recently been called a bitch by one of their male subordinates.