A study out of the University of Nevada, Reno has found that due to popular misconceptions cemented in adolescence, 80% of women are wearing the wrong size breasts for their bodies.
“I was inspired to partake in this research because of my own struggle to find the right bra size,” said Lead Researcher Frances O’Donnell. “I’ve worn a 34C since I was a teen, but it always felt too roomy for me. That’s when I realized, ‘Wait a second. My bra size isn’t wrong. My boobs are just too small.’”
According to the study, most women live their entire lives believing they have the correct sized breasts, only to realize decades down the line that they should have sized up or sized down in boob.
“There’s this prevalent misconception that the boobs you are born with are the correct boobs for you,” Frances continued. “This could not be further from the truth. The right boobs for you are out there, but they’re probably not on your chest right now.”
Researchers found that 20% of women would be better off if their boobs were a little bit bigger, while a whopping 60% of women would benefit from much smaller boobs.
“It may be taboo to say,” Frances continued. “But the only way we break the stigma is by speaking out.” She then gathered herself for a few moments and confidently stated, “Our research confirmed that most women should have mosquito bite tits.”
The news has taken the public by storm, with many rejoicing that their long-held suspicions have been proven correct.
“I always knew there was something wrong with the way my shirts fit over my bra,” said local mom Patricia Ford, born a 36D. “I was meant to have 36A tits. It all makes sense. I feel like my life is finally coming into focus.”
Reporters comforted Patricia as she burst into tears.
“Victoria’s Secret lied to us!” said another local woman, Natasha Singh. “About a lot of things, actually, but mostly this!”
While some women took this opportunity to make a statement by burning their bras, others felt that was sort of a roundabout protest considering the boob size itself is to blame.
The nation’s men wanted to weigh in really badly, but reporters refused to let them.
The one exception, however, was local trans man Peter Duncan, who responded to this groundbreaking discovery by saying, “Yeah, no shit.”
