A research team from the University of Vermont has officially confirmed that, seriously, you would actually like Bridget if you just got to know her a little bit.
Dr. Mary Gleason, the lead researcher on the report, became interested in the case after hearing your best friend Lila’s unsubstantiated claim that you would, in fact, like Bridget if you gave her a chance.
“I was fascinated by Lila’s insistence that getting to know Bridget would make you like her despite the fact that you have disliked her for the years you’ve known her peripherally,” said Dr. Gleason. “I couldn’t get this inquiry out of my head.”
“At first glance, the evidence seemed stacked in favor of you never liking Bridget,” continued Dr. Gleason. “But upon further research, data extraction and exhaustive analysis, we definitively proved the contrary: You would totally like Bridget if you just got to know her.”
Despite the overwhelming evidence, you refuse to accept that Lila was right all along.
“I will never like Bridget,” you said.
Unfortunately for you, no one is interested in your anti-Bridget claims.
“I’m glad this study can lay the issue to rest,” said Lila, “but I always knew you would like Bridget and just weren’t giving her the chance she deserves. She’s actually so great. Hopefully she’s still willing to be your friend after all this time of you giving her the cold shoulder.”
When reached for comment, Bridget was thrilled to hear the results of the study.
“Oh, that’s so cute!” Bridget said. “I don’t know why we’ve never clicked before. I feel like some women assume I don’t have a good personality just because I’m so toned. Or maybe it was because I became best friends with Lila who used to be her best friend. But she can totally hangout with us if she wants!”
You are not eager to accept this invitation, however upon hearing Bridget’s reaction, Lila has already started making group plans.
“I’m so happy we finally know you’re going to like Bridget,” she said. “Now I don’t have to split my time between my two besties. I can’t wait to do everything with both of you!”
