In a welcome change of pace, 54-year-old Maria Knight knows as well as anyone that her son definitely sucks.
“Oh, Liam?” says Maria. “Yeah, he’s not great.”
“I tried with him, but something’s not right,” Maria continues. “Maybe it’s because of videogames, maybe it’s because of his friends, who knows? But the reviews are in and it’s not looking good.”
Wow! It’s a breath of fresh air to see a mom so unwilling to defend or turn a blind eye to her son’s shittiness.
“He was always an asshole to me as a teenager, doesn’t read, and idolizes Ronald Reagan,” Maria says. “So, what can you do? The kid sucks.”
However, this mama is quick to establish she does not take responsibility for Liam’s shortcomings as a person.
“Everyone always wants to blame the mother,” Maria says. “But how do you think I feel? If anything, it sucks the most for me that my son sucks.”
“Anyway, my other son is great, and I think 50% is a pretty good track record,” she adds. “But also, my other son is gay, and gay sons love their mothers, so maybe it’s all nature. I wash my hands of the whole thing!”
Yes, Maria! Distance yourself from that black sheep.
Of course, Maria’s knowledge of Liam’s suckiness comes with its share of complications.
“One sad thing is I always get along with his girlfriends much better after they break up,” Maria says. “It’s typically not until that point that we’re really on the same page.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I love my son,” Maria adds. “And one day, if his personality totally changes, I may even like him, too.”
“Till then, I’ll just keep hanging out with him anyway, because that’s a mother’s duty,” she says. “But we can all agree no other woman should have to.”
Sweet!
