Everybody knows I used to be a tumbling child graced with unconscious agility and an easygoing relationship to the forces of gravity and time. But still, one can’t help but wonder: Could I do a cartwheel if I really tried? Take this quiz to help you help me figure it out:
I used to be really great at cartwheels.
A. Okay, I think a lot of us were as kids, but fine.
B. And you probably still are!! That doesn’t just go away just because you haven’t done one in over a decade. Have some faith.
When I put my arms up, foot out, and prepare to attempt a cartwheel, I am overcome with anxiety, vertigo, and spatial blindness. Is that bad?
A. Yes, that seems bad.
B. That’s all in your head. Your body still remembers what to do.
I believe if I attempted a cartwheel my arms might simply give out from beneath me.
A. That sounds scary and possible.
B. No way!!
I tried to do a bridge yesterday and almost blacked out.
A. Okay, do not try a cartwheel.
B. Yeah, but that’s different, right? A cartwheel is all about momentum; just close your eyes, it will be over before you know it.
Okay I’m gonna go for it!!
A. I can’t watch.
B. Yes bitch!!!!
Mostly As: Okay, you do not think I could a cartwheel, even if I really tried. This is pretty negative of you, and honestly you seem maybe a little bit jealous? Think about it.
Mostly Bs: You absolutely believe in my ability to do a cartwheel if I really try. Thank you for your confidence — I’ll now be putting you down as my emergency contact. Cheers!