QUIZ: Did You Eat Beets 6 Hours Ago, or Has Your Body Chosen a New Pope?

woman in bathroom side by side with white smoke

It can be hard to know what your body is telling you. Have you recently eaten healthy, vitamin-rich foods, or a sign that your body has finally chosen a new papal leader? Take this quiz to find out if you’ve just eaten a beet salad or if your body finally chose a new pope:


My poop color is…

  1. Tinted slightly red.
  2. White and smoky. Crowds have been gathering outside to hear the news.


My pee is….

  1. A little bit pinkish in color.
  2. Yellow, with a thick white smoke. The crowd outside is murmuring, has my body’s next pope finally been chosen? Have the cardinals finally made their decision?


Has your body’s previous Pope recently died?

  1. What???
  2. Yes, sadly. His death left a great void, and now the fate of the future Holy See rests inside of my body, for some reason.




All 1’s: You definitely ate some beets six hours ago. You are one of many people who lack the stomach acid to fully digest beets, and your body has not yet chosen a new Pope.

All 2’s: Congratulations! Your body has finally chosen its new Pope. It is time to celebrate all that is good and holy! Amen!

A mix of 1 and 2: Your body has not yet chosen its new Pope. Keep praying for the best possible outcome!