Prince William and Kate Middleton Provide Queen with List of Positions They Will Use to Conceive Next Baby

William and Kate

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex may not be the only ones expanding their brood this year! The rumor mill is abuzz that Prince William and Kate Middleton may be considering baby number four.


“William and Kate are definitely excited about growing their family,” says a close source to the royal couple. “Nothing is official, but they have provided Queen Elizabeth with a list of positions they will use to conceive their next little prince or princess.”


Let the baby bump watch begin! 


“Kate and Will are, unlike some other people, a bit more traditional,” says another source. “And with that comes behavior that demonstrates they aren’t just individuals or a normal nuclear family, but rather part of something that’s bigger than the both of them, and for which they have the utmost respect and reverence.” 


“That means letting the Queen in on their decisions and valuing her input,” they add. “That’s why they’ve provided her with a comprehensive rundown of positions they’re shagging in, which days of week they’re packing the meat, and what types of foreplay they’re engaging in both in and outside the bedroom to keep up their respective sex drives during this effortful process.” 


Famously private, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are keeping the information just between them and his mother, but an inside source says the list includes missionary, cowgirl in a chair, and ‘from behind (various)’. 



“Kate is hoping for a girl so Princess Charlotte will have a sister,” says a source. “But whatever gender their child, Kate and William both have a great attitude and are just enjoying fucking for now — and with the blessing of the Queen of course!” 


Here’s to eternal monarchy!