Nutritionists Recommend Eating a Few More of Whatever in Closest Reach

With an unprecedented number of people making the bulk of their meals at home, many are seeking guidance on how to best nourish their minds and bodies in the kitchen.


Luckily, the experts have answers.


“Right now I’m recommending to all my clients that they eat a few more of whatever’s within arm’s reach,” says Los Angeles based nutritionist Reese Greene. “It’s important to eat to relieve stress during this time, and the best way to do that is to reach your hand into whatever bag of foodstuffs is on your coffee table, and then eat about the amount you can hold in one fist.”


While clear nutrition advice is helpful to set goals and guidelines for daily eating habits, when it comes to following through, some face their own set of obstacles.


“I’ve been trying to eat intuitively while following this basic principle,” says a food consumer, Allie Jenkins. “But sometimes I do get frustrated or slip up. Like yesterday I put my hand in the opening of a chip bag and grabbed a fistful, but when I tried to retract my hand it wouldn’t fit back out of the hole with all those chips in its grasp.”



“I’ll be the first to admit that I almost gave up at that moment,” Jenkins shares. “But then I just ripped the chip bag open wider, and it was basically okay.”


Of course, the groundbreaking nutritional doctrine comes a surprise to many self-identified health-conscious individuals, but the experts are near-unanimous in their viewpoint.


“For a long time I’ve advocated a diet rich in vegetables, whole grains, and protein, and low in processed foods and red meat,” says Greene. “This is commonly known in the field as ‘obviously right’, but the field is changing.”


“I’m glad we finally realized that we should just be eating the crumbs at the bottom of the chip bag, and go ahead and mix them into what’s left of the ice cream, then just finish off the pint so you don’t have to get a dish dirty,” adds Greene. “And not a moment too soon.”


Here’s to healthy eating in quarantine!