In an extremely fortunate story emerging from a brunch place in Miami, FL, 29-year-old Gia Pietry said something really dumb, but as luck would have it, no one was paying attention.
Yay! Good thing she’s a relatively unimportant player in the conversation!
When Gia’s friend, Yasmine Zakaria, discussed her recent decision to stop drinking carbonated beverages, such as “Coke, Sprite, and sparkling water,” Gia replied, “Wait, sparkling water isn’t carbonated.”
Sources confirm this ranks among one of the dumbest things anyone has ever said.
Luckily for Gia, though, Yasmine and her other friend, Eddie DeBrito, had already started another conversion and missed this remark entirely. Sources confirm if they’d heard what Gia said, they would have teased her relentlessly for it, as it was stupid beyond comprehension.
What joy! Gia gets to live to see another day!
“Sorry, what’d you say, Gia?” Yasmine immediately asked, only trying to be polite. Gia, however, would have rather died than repeat herself.
“Oh, nothing. I was just saying that I love this brioche,” she covered masterfully, thanking whatever gods may be, and promising to attend church or synagogue soon, whichever religion is correct.
“No, really! We value your input and would love to be able to properly respond to whatever it is you just said,” Eddie chimed in, that asshole.
“Um, wait, Eddie, how’s your new job?” Gia replied, successfully diverting the conversation.
Despite this quick thinking, sources one table over report that Gia was visibly sweating.
“She just looked extremely nervous and clammy,” said Diane Weeler, a 70-year-old woman enjoying brunch right next to the group. “It was probably because she said that dumb shit about carbonated water not being carbonated. If I were her, I’d skip town.”
After leaving to go to the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror, splashing water on her face, and saying, “Get it together,” Gia returned to the table determined not to say anything else fucking idiotic.
“These aioli fries are so good!” she said, starting off strong. “Did you guys know that some people like fries with mayonnaise? That’s crazy.”
Sources confirm aioli is functionally mayonnaise, and by Jove, Gia’s done it again.
“Sorry, what did you say?” Yasmine replied, removing an earphone as she and Eddie had been watching a video on Eddie’s phone.
Two saves in one day? Unheard of!
