Reports emerging from Brooklyn, NY confirm that 28-year-old Muna Sayeed just got a job as the head of information security at a growing startup, so now she assumes it must have been an easy job to get.
For sure! If she got it, it must have been pretty get-able!
“Look, was I hoping and praying that I’d get this job for weeks, despite the fact that I’m not really the religious type? Yes,” Muna told reporters gathered at the scene. “Did I go through a rigorous, five-step interview process in which I had to prove my skills and provide examples of how I’d move the company forward on a reasonable timeline? Yeah, for sure. But I got the job, so it must’ve not been that hard to get!”
Flawless logic, queen! That’s basically “one plus one equals two”!
Sources confirm that whenever Muna achieves something, she immediately characterizes it as “easy to achieve.” When she doesn’t, however, it is a sign that the people discerning her quality as a candidate know something inherently true and flawed about her.
“If I didn’t get the job in the end, I definitely would have thought that the whole process was an impossible task,” she continued. “I also would have assumed that the end result was inevitable, as I am clearly unqualified and unworthy. Not now, though! Now I’m pretty sure it was a slam dunk that even a baby could have made.”
This isn’t the first time Muna has done this: When she got rejected from the University of Pennsylvania but got into Stanford, she took this to mean that Stanford was extremely easy to get into, while UPenn obviously only accepts actually intelligent individuals. Then, when she was elected president of the Data Analytics Society at Stanford, she figured that was probably a piece of cake that didn’t mean anything, either!
In fact, if you ask Muna whether she’s ever worked hard for anything in her life, she’ll confidently say “No.”
Awesome! This certainly doesn’t reflect on her sense of self-worth or general self-esteem!
“Anytime my friends make strides in their personal and professional lives, that’s 100% the result of hard work, determination, and unparalleled grit,” Muna continued. “But when I do it, that’s the result of everything being super easy! And also, me being lucky!”
As of press time, Muna’s bosses have congratulated her on being their most successful and impactful head of information security yet, but they’re probably just being nice, and anyone could have done what she did!
