Moon Looks Cool Tonight, According to Boring Date

Recently, Palo Alto resident Sarah Grant met a guy through mutual friends and decided to go out with him for drinks. While sitting outside with margaritas in hand, she was quickly able to conclude that her date was extremely boring after he muttered, ‘Moon looks cool tonight.’


“He literally looked up, saw the moon and said that it ‘looks cool’,” said Grant. “After that, I knew the date was going to feel centuries long. Like, at least say it looks beautiful? Or gimme some kind of space fact? Men are really hard to like.”


Grant went on to explain her position.


“That’s like one of those things you say when you have no personality,” added Grant. “The moon? Dude, ask me about my life. I am literally really interesting, or at least more interesting than talking about the fucking moon.”


Despite Sam actually being proud of his conversational skills, women who he’s dated in the past have found him to be mind-numbingly boring.


“I went on a date with him, and he literally at one point said ‘I like food’,” says Lindsay Wexton. “Yeah dude, that’s like the only thing universal about the human experience? I had to pretend my grandma called and needed my help.”


“Sam? Oh god,” says Georgie Parrera. “We went to the beach and he literally said, ‘The sun is crazy.’ Okay, thanks dude, I hope you someday impart that knowledge onto our children. Wow, I wonder what sex with him is like.”



Sources confirm sex with him is unsurprisingly extremely boring.


Still, Sam is confident he was very fun on the date.


“There were a lot of silences where I felt like we just understood each other so much we didn’t even have to talk,” says Sam. “I brought up the moon, which was romantic and not at all boring and obvious. But I haven’t heard from her since, so, back to drawing board.”


“I haven’t found ‘the one’ yet,” says Sam. “But if you know anyone who likes water, laughing and air please let me know.”