Moms! Do You Know what Your Children are Communicating with Me Telepathically?

In this day and age, most of you moms know to monitor what your children are doing online, posting on social media, what they’re sexting, et cetera. But are you watching what they’re doing with their minds?! Particularly the messages they are sending to me and women like me? It’s time to take a look at your children’s telepathic messages before they get out of hand.


On numerous recent occasions I’ve been walking down the street, only to have my mind abruptly assaulted by the telepathic thoughts of your out-of-control children. Do you think it’s appropriate for your sons to send me messages like “nice butt, for an old hag!” or your daughters to use thought transference to tell me my outfit is “ew.” I can hear you guys! And FYI, it’s not appropriate.


Children need to respect their elders and know better than to enter their minds like some sort of sicko Charles Xavier. And if you really must intrude on someone’s thoughts with a telepathic message, do it politely. If you’re kid is skateboarding up behind me, they should know to use an “excuse me” rather than a “get out of my way.”



Is it just me? Am I crazy?! I don’t think so. It’s just common sense that teens with the ability to communicate telepathically should be taught how to use it responsibly.


Oh God. I can hear one of them now. He’s telling me to support his basketball team by paying to watch him breakdance on the train. I can’t even see you! Maybe wait until someone is in the same room with you before intruding on their thoughts. God, is that so much to ask? Are parents these days just lazier? Why isn’t anyone monitoring their children’s telepathy anymore? Back in the sixties when I was a kid I would have been mortified to telepathically say some of the things these kids say to grownups. We dressed better too. Attire translates to behavior so maybe watch what your kids are wearing. Maybe if their pants weren’t falling down when they left the house it would occur to them not to say these things directly into someone else’s brain!


Maybe it’s just me. I don’t know. Maybe some people like to hear other’s rude thoughts. Maybe people like to be spoken brusquely to by someone half their age who is doing it right into their mind, interrupting their concentration.


All I can say is, mothers could do a better job at policing their children, and teaching them what’s right and wrong in terms of telepathic communication. Because from where I stand, shouting the lyrics to the latest Taylor Swift song telepathically at everyone on the bus, is more than a faux pas, it’s just plain rude.