30-year-old Los Angeles resident Daniel Murray has always been hairy, and has never really minded.
“I’m a hairy guy, what can I say,” says Murray. “I don’t think there’s one inch on my body that isn’t covered in coarse, black hair.”
Despite his absolute comfort with his own carpet-like body, he is definitely not on board with that one random boob hair you have right now. It makes him wonder what’s up, if that’s “normal”.
Murray has no fear when it comes to wearing a bathing suit and displaying his furry body in public, but is not okay with that one barely visible wisp coming out of your nipple.
“It’s totally natural to have a little bit of hair as a woman,” says Murray, recalling the faint blond arm hairs of swimsuit models. “But I am not comfortable with a weird black hair poking out of an areola.”
Sources confirm Murray likes his body to feel like a fleece coat and likes your tits to show no signs of regular hormonal changes. He insists that he’s not asking too much of the women he sleeps with.
“I like seeing boobs that are big and smooth. Even one hair can ruin sex for me,” says Murray. “I want the tits I touch to be huge, I want them to defy gravity and I want no evidence they contain hair follicles.”
Jenny Caven, Murray’s ex-girlfriend, confirms that Murray’s fixation on her body staying hairless was the main reason their relationship ended.
“Every time he slept over I would find at least 30 thick black hairs in my bed the next morning. He sheds like a dog,” says Caven. “Meanwhile, one time he pulled off my tank top, saw that I had missed a spot shaving my armpit and said ‘ew.’”
“I am not interested in a woman who has hairy armpits, hairy legs or a hairy pussy, let alone a boob hair,” says Murray. “My motto is: if my lady doesn’t pluck, we ain’t gonna fuck!”
Murray, who’s back hair is as thick as shag rug, hasn’t had a girlfriend in the past two years, but insists he could have one if he wanted.
“Women go crazy for this,” says Murray, pointing to the overgrown forest of hair on his shoulders that would take a weed whacker to get through safely.