Man Who Graduated College Two Years Ago Already Looks Like Middle-Aged Dad

Last week, 24-year-old Max Carlisle celebrated being two years out of undergrad, and after living in the real world for just 24 months, he already looks like a middle-aged father.


Over the past two years, Carlisle has been working at his full-time job in sales, giving him little time to see his friends from his time at Amherst. At a get-together arranged by his college friend group, Max finally made an appearance that shocked his former classmates.


“I hadn’t seen him since graduation. He looks bad,” says Hayley Goldman, Max’s former roommate. “He looks like he’s raising two kids on his own and his only coping mechanism is beer.”


“How did this happen? It’s only been two years,” says Steven Dronder, his friend from Amherst’s intramural soccer team. “He has the under-eye circles of a man who’s in a loveless marriage and financially burdened by at least two children.”


Despite the resounding negative reactions to Carlisle’s transformation, Max doesn’t feel that upset about his new look – not even his wraparound sunglasses.


“It’s a new city so I’ve been working a lot. I stopped playing intramural soccer,” says Carlisle. “I guess I do look a little different,” he said, adjusting the cell phone clip on attached to his belt.


Even people who’ve seen Max more recently are noticing his descent into early-onset fatherhood.



“I remember when I hired Max he was so energetic and fun,” says Randy Holder, Max’s manager. “Now, he shuffles in with an ill-fitting, tucked-in polo shirt, talking on a Bluetooth speaker for some reason. You’d think he was dealing with a mortgage while trying to save for his kids’ college funds.”


When informed that Max is 24 years old, Holder commented, “There’s no way. That man has had at least one colonoscopy.”


Still, Carlisle believes everyone is making too big of a deal about his physical change.


“Why do people care that I look a little more mature? I’m still 24,” says Carlisle. “I still want to party and date and travel, I just haven’t really had the energy with work lately. Plus my digestion’s been a little off.”