An unassuming woman in Ann Arbor, Michigan has been leading a complicated double life for nigh on two years, as was revealed yesterday on her blog. Lindsey Porfant carried on a relationship with one man she called “Boyfriend,” while also being in a relationship with the same man, whom she also called “best friend.” Despite this mind-bending contradiction, Porfant insists she wouldn’t have her duplicitous life any other way.
“You guys, it’s different with Ryan,” Porfant explained to her friends. “He’s my boyfriend and my best friend.” Claire and Ella, who Porfant had called her “best friends” just a week prior, “Liked” the post understandingly.
“Most girls have BFFs and a BF, but Lindsey’s not most people,” says Claire, looking over old photos. “She has a BFBFF. That’s just who she is, and it’s unsettling.”
Doing double duty with Ryan appears hectic, as she scrambles to keep up both sides of the ruse. Days consisted of best friend things, like produce shopping at the co-op and watching Season 3 of Orange is the New Black, while nights consisted of boyfriend things, like fucking, making love, and wondering why all the glasses were dirty.
Ryan was Porfant’s boyfriend when he met her parents at Thanksgiving, but he mysteriously reappeared as her best friend when she needed someone to confide in about her fear of dogs. He was her boyfriend when he cheated on her, then just as quickly, he was her best friend when he used pepperoni to spell “You Deserve Better” on a pizza.
While Porfant called herself “very lucky,” her friends could not say the same. “I only have a best friend,” says Claire, “and it used to be Lindsey, but now it’s Ella, I guess.” Ella adds, “I only have a boyfriend.” The two insist they could never do the delicate dance of living a double life, but admit that it “sounds complicated.”
Given the intricacies of her situation, Porfant must keep close track of her boyfriend and best-friend narratives. “I’ll never forget the night I accidentally told my boyfriend about how I was thinking of leaving my boyfriend,” says Porfant, with a laugh. “I mean, that’s clearly something you tell your best friend!”
While Porfant’s confession is shocking to many people, it is also considered by some to be a wakeup call. How many women among us are living similarly secret lives? Hopefully Porfant’s story will inspire others to speak out about their double burden, and to realize that they are far from alone.