Little Black Dresses That Say, ‘If I Don’t Cum Tonight I Will Literally Die’

Silence + Noise Deep V Cutout Bodycon Dress (Urban Outfitters, $29)

Too shy to tell people it’s been exactly 46 days since you’ve cum? Let this extremely deep V-neck do it for you. This Silence + Noise deep body-hugger is perfect to wear out on the town while you desperately scramble for dick. Or a hand – really anything. Nothing is left unsaid with these randomly placed cutouts!