In a confusing story out of Milwaukee, WI, 27-year-old Jeff Connelly has apparently started using military time, like, all of a sudden?
“He’s not and has never been in the armed forces or lived overseas,” said Lionel Resto, a close friend of Jeff’s. “So I don’t really understand where this is coming from. I’m kinda worried.”
Lionel is not the only person is Jeff’s life who is baffled by his abrupt switch to a 24-hour time system.
“He asked me to meet him for dinner at nineteen hundred hours tonight,” said Trish Reynolds, Jeff’s sister. “Um, what the fuck? I had to do several minutes of math to figure out what that even meant. He’s never said anything like this before.”
“Yeah, he’s setting up meetings for 14:00 in emails,” added Ned Clarkson, Jeff’s coworker. “It’s confusing the whole team. We’re an American company, and all of our employees are American. I don’t understand why he’s doing this suddenly.”
Some peers have even taken guesses as to what could possibly be Jeff’s motive behind this.
“Is he considering enlisting?” questioned Lionel. “Or maybe he’s trying to impress that Australian girl who just moved into his building? There has to be some kind of explanation for this.”
“Or at least I hope there is, he’s alienating all of his friends with this shit,” Lionel added.
But Jeff seems unbothered by his friends’ objections.
“Military time is just a more efficient way to communicate time,” explained Jeff. “The day operates on a 24-hour schedule, so why wouldn’t we refer to a specified time with a number that’s open to two different interpretations? Most of the world does it this way.”
“There’s no way anyone thought he was scheduling a 2 AM meeting,” says Clarkson.
Jeff defended his new system.
“There’s also this really hot Australian girl that just moved into the apartment below me, and I’m trying to seem relatable.”