Healthcare providers will often sneak in undue charges that you wouldn’t have otherwise noticed, like $35 for a Band-Aid or $200 for Motrin. But in a developing story out of Woodhull Hospital in Brooklyn, Aliya Walters found a whopping $600 charge on her bill for simply “looking at them the wrong way” and “being kind of weird about the whole thing.”
The charge came as a shock to Walters who, prior to this event, had full faith in the American healthcare system.
“I didn’t even know they could bill for that,” the 26-year-old told reporters. “And when I called to dispute the charge, they just laughed for, like, a super long time, hung up, and then added another charge for ‘being awkward over the phone.’ Like, what the hell?”
“This is my first run-in with something of this nature,” she continued. “I was on my parents’ insurance up until last year, and since then I’ve been operating on a strict ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’ policy. It had been working flawlessly until a bad flu wrecked my weakened immune system and landed me in the E.R.”
In spite of the initial charge, Walters maintained that, to her knowledge, she didn’t look at anyone “the wrong way” or “in a way that came off kind of disrespectful” during her hospital visit.
“I mean, my brain was pretty much melting from a 103-degree fever,” she said. “I barely even remember being there. But I don’t think I looked at anyone funny? I mean, I know I sometimes suffer from resting bitch face, but I never thought it would financially ruin me.”
When reached for comment, hospital officials declined to confirm whether or not the charge was legally defensible, but implied that they could pretty much do whatever they wanted. Other patients of the hospital confirmed this claim, stating that they’ve been billed for such things as, “being a Virgo,” “coming in during lunchtime,” and “only reaching out when they needed something.”
One patient added, “They told me I was being ‘braggy’ about having insurance, even though they’re the ones who asked, and then they added a $3,500 out-of-pocket fee to ‘prove I really wanted to be there.’ I wasn’t even sick! I was just walking on the sidewalk outside and they flagged me down.”
At press time, Walters expressed hope that, if she was persistent enough, she could get the charge written off. When hospital officials caught wind of this, they laughed their asses off and tacked on a $400 “naivety” charge and a $2,000 “silly goose” fee for good measure.
