Katie Wilson’s attendance record is legendary around her office, where she has worked for most of her adult life. That’s because 30-year-old Katie has never missed a single day of work, even when she’s sick as a dog and extremely contagious.
“I’ve always been an over-achiever. Always eager to please,” says Katie. “So when I started working here six years ago, I wasn’t going to miss a day just because I had some highly fucking contagious stomach bug. I would show up, ready to work! Even if I vomit into the trashcan under my desk. That’s how committed I am to my job.”
Wilson’s commitment to showing up at work, even when she’s fucking dripping disgusting infected snot from her fucking face holes, has not gone unnoticed by her coworkers.
“Whether she has a dry hacking cough, crusty, scabby, pinkeye or just like a fucking insane sinus infection — there she is at her desk, working hard even though she’s like, hacking and wheezing,” said Andy, a coworker who sits next to Katie in their open-plan office. “It’s really inspiring.”
Katie has enjoyed pretty good health throughout her impressive six-year attendance streak, but she has admittedly had to soldier through a couple rough patches.
“One time I was feeling really sick, but I kept coming in to work because I didn’t want to make a big thing out of it,” explains Katie. “Well it turned out I had a pretty bad strain of walking pneumonia and, yeah, you’d better believe it was pretty fucking contagious. Everyone in the office got it so then I really had to step up my game at work to make sure everything got done. Thank god I was there to help!”
Of course Katie, truly force to be reckoned with, has had her fair share of haters. One coworker, who wished to remain anonymous said, “Who cares if she’s never missed a day of work?? Once I walked into the bathroom and she was just screaming ‘Nooooo’ into the toilet.”
But Katie has no problem shaking off the negativity. “I know people are jealous of me because our boss is always praising my hard work and perfect attendance record,” she says. “But it doesn’t bother me. Last week people were complaining that I kept sneezing and blowing my nose into my hands at work. So I baked cupcakes and hand delivered them to everyone in the office! Nothing a little hand-made gift can’t fix!”
Wow Katie! Thanks for being such a positive role model for fucking contagious working women everywhere!
