Nothing feels better than starting your day off sippin’ on a cup of joe. And who cares if getting a coffee now means spending approximately $7 on a fancy melange of artisanal milk and gourmet beans blended together expertly? That’s life these days, baby! If you’re looking to spend money for pretty much no reason at all, here are four iced coffees that say, “I have $6 to burn on roasted beans, bitches!”
Iced Oat Milk Latte
Oat milk is taking the world by storm and if you’re not using it in your morning brew, guess what – you’re poor! If your local coffee shop doesn’t have oat milk, say “mm, sorry” and get outta there! You’re rich, you don’t settle for milk from cows! After you get your well-deserved latte made with milk from oats, strut down the street to let everyone know, “This was basically $10 freaking dollars, and all that’s in here is water, oats and beans, ya freaks!”
Iced Dirty Chai Latte
If you’re looking for a sweet dessert drink before 9 am, look no further than the iced dirty chai latte. It’s the most expensive espresso beverage on most menus and it’s never worth it, unless you’re rich as hell! When the barista calls your name, pick up your iced dirty chai to make sure everyone knows money means nothing to you and spending $8 including tip on a lavish drink makes sense to you!
Iced Golden Milk Latte
This popular spin on the classic latte actually doesn’t have any espresso in it, but knowing you, you’re still probably cool spending upwards of $6 on it. Cool! The latte is unique in that it combines a non-dairy milk with turmeric powder, a sweetener, and a few other spices to create an anti-inflammatory and soothing drink that says, “I adore warm, spicy milk for a whole lot of money, you dumb bitches!”
Green coffee? Yeah, that’s basically the only difference between an iced coffee for $3 and an iced matcha for $8! And if you’re feeling unstoppable, add almond milk to that to hit those double digits before you even get breakfast! Let everyone know, “I got cash and I wanna waste $6 on something with half the caffeine of my $6 coffee, biiiiiitch!”
Try one of these iced bevies that says, “I have money and I will spend it on watery beans, you fuckos!” And if you’re not a coffee person, you can spend your riches on something else dumb as fuck! Like salads for lunch! $15 for leaves? Fine, I’m in!