I Wanted to Be a Traditional Housewife, So I Married My House

I grew up in a modern family, where my mother always worked and my father pushed me to get an education and do the same. So when I decided to buck the social pressure of being a career woman and become a traditional housewife instead, my friends and family were curious about my decision. But now, I live a fulfilling life spending time with the one I love the most: my house.



In spite of all the pressure to find meaning in a career or raising children, I live every day to support my one true love: my three-bedroom colonial with a waterfront view. And I don’t regret it for a minute.


Back when I was younger, my family always asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, expecting me to say “doctor” or “lawyer” or at least “mother.” But I always felt embarrassed that the thing that gave me the most joy was to selflessly serve the needs of a dilapidated house in need of repair. Sorry, feminists! We’re married now.


Sure, I tried the working life, where I slaved over my day job, always traveling, and never seeing my house, or my barn on the side of my house. Everyone told me that a career would make me happy, but I wasn’t happy. And after some soul-searching, I realized that the time I felt most like myself was at home, making fresh muffins, barefoot in the kitchen for nobody but my house (and me, when my house says I’m done with my housework for the day).


When I told some of my more so-called “progressive” friends about my decision, they balked. “Why would you want to be someone’s property?” they asked.


Because as anyone who’s owned a house knows, you will spend your life in service of that house, or pay someone else to do it. I’m just calling out a biological reality here. This is what I, as a housewife, was born to do.



I don’t want to have to choose between my partner, my career, and my house. My house demands more of me than I ever imagined, and I love serving it in every way.


And if you’re wondering – yes, the sex is amazing! You haven’t really made love until you’ve humped a banister. I love my house and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life serving this incredible building.