I LIVED IT: The Government Took Away My Rights and Still Expected Me to Come to Its Birthday Party

After Roe v. Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court, I thought that I could at least have the decency of spending this weekend thinking about myself and how I was going to cope with the violent atrocities happening to me and so many other people in America, but ––and you will not believe this—– the government still wanted me to come to its stupid little 246th birthday party.


Are you fucking serious? After all of this?


Not only did the government take away my right to have ownership over my own body, but they made sure that I knew their birthday is coming up on the 4th, and actually had the gall to ask me to celebrate it? How delusional do you have to be to completely fuck millions of people over and then remind them that your birthday is coming up by putting it on all of their calendars?



I thought I’d seen it all, but I guess the craziest bitches will always find a way to keep surprising you!


Also, why are you still having birthday parties at your big age of 246 years old? Give me a fucking break. Grow up, go out for a quiet dinner, fundamentally change your constitution…anything but this.


The government is also one of those annoying pieces of shit who have a whole “birthday month” too (big surprise!). Like, I’ve literally been seeing them hint about it for weeks every time I step into any grocery store, pharmacy, or even on the street. Which is insane since they also took away my constitutionally protected right an abortion just a week ago! Like don’t be a monstrous cunt if you want people to put on little red, white, and blue outfits for you?


As if anyone’s actually gonna celebrate your birthday when every birthday you’ve had you’ve been doing horrible shit! Like yeah, we didn’t forget what you were doing at the first one, or the last one! Get a fucking grip!


This is why I will not be attending this old bitch’s birthday party, even though I have the day off. Sorry, girl, but you’re gonna have to celebrate this one all by your damn self!