Whether Disobedience or My Beautiful Laundrette first got you interested in spitting, there’s nothing hotter than dropping some saliva into your partner’s eager mouth when the time is right. At least, I assume this is true, but I can’t say for certain because recently my partner asked me to spit in their mouth during sex, and I tried to oblige but nothing came out because I just upped my Lexapro dosage and my mouth is dry as a goddamn fossil.
Yes, this trap is shooting blanks.
A lot of the time having good sex comes down to feeling sexy, which is not how I would describe my state of mind while I frantically wriggled my tongue around, trying to produce enough mouth lube to hock into my lover’s face.
I love that my partner is a little freak who wants me to baby bird digestive fluid into their mouth hole, but unfortunately a side effect of Lexapro is dry mouth, and the most I could do was get a little bubble of saliva to form around my lips that dissipated into thin air when I tried to “spit it”.
I then started choking from the strenuous effort, and ultimately had a coughing fit. At least during this process, I did spray some spit particles onto my partner’s face and body. Neither of us came.
So to those of you out there considering using SSRIs to manage your depression or anxiety, let this be a warning: You will be depressed and anxious when your partner asks you to spit in their mouth or use spit as lube and you have to cast your eyes down and respond, “I can’t,” while making the really sad emoji face.
You can try siphoning spit from your partner’s mouth while you make out, but they might catch on to this and be deeply offended by your plan to secretly steal the spit from their mouth then spit it back into their mouth, passing it off as your own. From what I can imagine, this sort of thing would be pretty hard to live down.
Everyone knows SSRIs can impair sexual performance, but I learned the hard way just how deep this truth runs when I tried to spit in my partner’s mouth and a little string of saliva formed, too delicate to be affected by the forces of gravity. So it goes. Keep looking out for your mental health, and drink a glass of water.