Walking past charity canvassers can be trying at even the best of times. I know they have a job to do, and I know they’re pounding the pavement for a good cause, but I also know they’re going to try to force eye contact and then sucker me into a $20/month donation commitment that I never wanted to make in the first place. I thought I had nailed down my boundary-setting with these orange vests. I say this all from my bedrest, since earlier today an ASPCA rep chased me eleven city blocks and then tackled me to the ground asking me for a regular monthly donation.
With the right care I should make a full physical recovery, but the emotional damage remains.
When I first started encountering ASPCA reps, I would allow them to stop me, because I was weak. They would talk and talk and talk, knowing that the more of my life they stole, the more likely I’d be to cave to a donation just to free myself from the kennel of standing on the sidewalk, nodding every few seconds and glancing with anguished longing at the free passersby. But soon I learned to just yell “Sorry!” and keep walking as fast as possible.
And this tactic worked…. until it didn’t.
The interaction started like any other: a peppy person with a clipboard asking me something along the lines of “Do you care whether helpless animals live or die?” I smiled and pointed at my watch, not so much as slowing my pace, but that didn’t deter her in the slightest.
As I kept walking, I noticed she was keeping pace behind me, calling out with sing-song faux innocence, “Is empathy something you experience?” and “Do you want the world to a better place or do you love suffering?” I picked up my pace, and so did she. I zigged; she zagged. Before I knew it, I was at 10th street and 4th Ave, dry heaving and praying to my maker that I’d made it through the worst. That’s when she tackled me with the force of 101 guilt-tripping Dalmatians (they are a very nasty breed – I hope my donation went to something nicer, like a retriever).
You never think it’s going to happen to you. And probably you’re right; this was highly unusual and disturbing.
Anyway, thank you for reading this far and if you can, please donate to the GoFundMe for my medical bills! Also, if you receive a message saying that what I really want is for people to make donations to the ASPCA in my name, please forward them to me, then ignore — my assailant is still at large!
