I Donated $15 to Nancy Pelosi and She Spent It on the Panera ‘You Pick Two’

When I first received a fundraising email from Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi asking for a donation following the overturning of Roe v. Wade, I was a bit taken aback. I was furious, I was grieving, and I was eager to send my resources to those most imminently impacted by this loss of bodily autonomy. However, Nancy said that she really needed the cash to do something important, and I thought: If this is what it will take to get our rights back, I have to try.  


That’s why I was pretty shocked when I received a “thank you for the contribution” email that showed Speaker Pelosi using my $15 to purchase the Panera You Pick Two meal deal (she got a cup of mac and half a Green Goddess Cobb salad). 


This felt like a misallocation of funds. I thought maybe my money would go toward the fight to codify other vulnerable rulings into law so that I don’t end up living in a country where contraception, homosexuality, and transness are illegal. I thought the Democratic Party needed a little extra support so they could serve the will of the majority of Americans by having our rights not determined by a small group of undemocratically elected religious extremists, so her choice left me feeling weird.



However, I began to understand the Speaker’s perspective when her team sent out yet another email explaining that a Pick Two gives the 5’5” politician the energy she needs to recite poems to her failed and doomed constituents — an activity that can be very draining for her small frame. 


At the end of the day, I probably wouldn’t have donated to Madam Speaker Pelosi if I had known it was going toward half of two Panera entrees and that she was keeping the change to fund the salary of the aid who steams her pop-of-color blazers, but I have to trust that my party is looking out for me, even though they’ve never done anything to give me any reason to believe this. 


Today, I may have fewer rights, but I also have fewer dollars because I gave them to a post-menopausal woman who makes six figures from her baseline salary alone, and also, she got the fucking apple slices as her side. This is what democracy looks like!