So, you finally found a great therapist. Your personalities are aligned, you feel comfortable telling her your woes, and she’s got some great insights to share. But there’s one thing that’s still weighing on your conscience: How are you supposed to trust someone who sometimes tells you you’re right to feel hurt? Could that sort of person possibly be sane, let alone correct? Here’s how you can learn to trust your therapist even though they validate you, which is kind of a red flag.
Remember: They have a degree in this!
It can be hard to trust someone who tells you you’re valid even though you’re probably not, but if there’s one thing you can trust, it’s institutions! Your therapist went to school for this, which means they probably know what they’re doing, even if they’re lying on the support a little too heavily. Just because they’re validating you doesn’t mean they’re unqualified, right? Haha. Right? Maybe.
Remind yourself that sometimes you can be right.
Look, it doesn’t happen often, but you’ve been right before! Never about anything major, like a life decision or relationship quarrel, but you’ve been right about small things, like whether it’s going to be t-shirt or long sleeve weather today. Or whether a big actor will star in the next Knives Out movie. Maybe your therapist isn’t so wrong for thinking you’re right, after all! You’ve been right before and you probably will be again, unless your greatest fear — that you will one day never be right again — comes true, of course.
Trust the process.
Therapy is a difficult journey of rebuilding self-trust, and that doesn’t happen overnight. Your therapist is validating your feelings because — and this might be crazy to hear — your feelings are valid! Take a deep breath, and trust the process, girl.
Actually, find a new therapist.
When you’ve exhausted all your options, unfortunately it’s time to find a new therapist, one who will correctly gaslight you and tell you you’re being crazy. Actually, on second thought, this “therapist figure” doesn’t technically have to be a licensed therapist. It can be a new boyfriend! Yeah, he’ll tell you you’re being nuts, which is what a logical and correct person would do!
There you have it! The next time your therapist tries to validate your feelings, remind her you can always find someone else who’s willing to do the job she can’t. Good luck on your healing journey!
