Alexander Skarsgård has been in your spank bank since he was brooding and shirtless in True Blood. Now that he’s been brooding, shirtless, and outwardly violent in Big Little Lies, it’s hard for him to make you lady-hard anymore. Here’s how you can still be attracted to his male model-esque Scandinavian features after watching him realistically portray a man who beats the shit out of his wife.
Remember That it’s All Fake
Alexander Skarsgård is a serious actor who makes bold choices, which sometimes make him hard to objectify. The next time you’re watching Big Little Lies and wondering, “How could someone so genetically blessed be such a monster?” remember that it’s all fake – even if it is an accurate portrayal of an abusive relationship, including the grey areas that are never talked about. He’s a glorious golden angel and would probably never hit you in real life.
Focus on What He’s Wearing and Pause the Show
Perry is usually wearing a well-cut suit or nothing. He looks like he’s cut out of a menswear catalog – you love a tall, blond man in a suit! Try not to think about Perry’s weird rage issues that make him compelled to subjugate his wife, Celeste, through physical violence. Focus on that fucking suit. Or his abs. Or any part of his body. He’s 6’4”!! Pause on a shot where Nicole Kidman isn’t on screen and he’s just kind of smiling. What a gentle, handsome man he seems now!
Remember That You Can See His Penis in the Show and Pause There
Alexander Skarsgård spends a lot of time on this show naked – even if he’s naked because his character is having aggressive, quasi-consensual sex with Nicole Kidman, which is never a turn on. Just find a moment where he’s naked and non-violent and pause it! Be careful, you’re going to have to time this very specifically. Pro-tip: try minute 09:33 on episode 6. You can make out the outline of big little schlong in his sweatpants and will almost forget the main attributes of his character! While you’re paused, try playing audio from a nicer show on another device, one where a man is loving.
Watch Other Things Where He’s Shirtless and/or Naked
Turn on Tarzan so that he’ll still turn you on. Or watch the first 15 minutes of Zoolander. We haven’t seen Battleship, but we’re pretty sure he doesn’t hit women in it. You can also just Google “Alexander Skarsgård + shirtless + photo”. Consume any media in which he has his top off and he’s not portraying a violent abuser. Alexander Skarsgård looks like the physical embodiment of how primitive man used to envision the Gods. You can’t let this show ruin that for you!
Remember, it’s still pretty easy to objectify Alexander Skarsgård if you don’t focus on the content of the show!
