So, you’re bad in bed: not to worry! Being good in bed doesn’t have to be the be-all and end-all. In fact, if you do it right, your personality outside of the bedroom should be what really makes you shine in the bedroom. Here’s how you can make yourself seem better in bed by becoming worse in every other facet of your life:
Put less pressure on yourself in the bedroom, and more pressure on yourself everywhere else.
It actually doesn’t matter how you perform in the bedroom if you are doing badly enough in every other respect, so take the pressure off of yourself sexually, and start applying more pressure in other areas. Maybe you’re naturally funny – that’s going to be hard to stifle. But if you manage to swallow your witty banter and offer nothing but dry platitudes, you’ll have your partner saying, “I thought that would be, like, way worse” in the bedroom in no time.
Identify your strengths – then make them your weaknesses.
Good cook? Now you’re mediocre. Got interesting hobbies? Now you just enjoy “traveling” – no elaboration. Whatever ounce of charisma you possess, erase it. And if you never possessed any charisma to begin with, become actively rude. The person you’re dating will be pleasantly surprised when your performance in bed is better than the frozen dino nuggets you made them for dinner.
Remember: it’s all about the individual connection you have with each person.
An individual connection is essential in bed, so make sure to alter which aspects of your life you’re becoming worse in based on who you’re seeing at the time. Does the person you’re dating enjoy stimulating conversation? Amp up your boringness. That way, when you bring your usual level of “meh” to the bedroom, they won’t be able to help but be a little impressed.
There you have it! If you follow these simple steps, you’ll have transformed yourself into a boring, annoying, untalented, uninteresting individual who’s surprisingly okay in bed!
