How to Say a Proper Goodbye to Your Elf on the Shelf With One Last Handjob Print Edition - Jan 2, 2024 By: Steph Westendorf Tweet You've reached the Print Edition. The headline is the whole joke. Subscribe to Coil for $5/month and get ad-free access to The Hard Times and more. click to learn more > SHARE: Handjob Because It HappenedElf on the ShelfTearful GoodbyeDon't Cry Because It's Over All This Woman Wants for Christmas Is to Be Able to Breathe With Both Nostrils Woman Goes to Gym So Infrequently That Average Price of Visit Is $299