How to Piss in the Shower Like a Goddess

Bathroom Eyes - Reductress

Have you been feeling out of touch with the goddess in you? Not sure how to channel your feminine divinity? It’s no surprise: The demands of modern life can make it difficult to stay in touch with your celestial inner being. Sometimes all you need to do is refocus your energies in order to find Her—and there’s no more efficient place to do this than in the shower while you pee. Here’s how to release your inner goddess as you release urine freely into earth’s waters.



Create Your Space

One of the most important steps in connecting with your inner goddess is to create a space in which you feel free to do so. Set the tone for your ritual: Dim the lights. Hang some wind chimes. Burn your favorite incense. Light candles. Have soft music playing. Make sure the drain isn’t blocked. These steps are crucial in ensuring that your aura will be cleansed of negativity, and your shower cleansed with your pee.


Connect With the Elements

As you wait for the water to reach the proper temperature, take some time to connect with your body and with your surroundings. Visualize the energies flowing throughout the room and how they interact with your chi. Notice the ground under your feet, the scent of incense, the cool air on your skin, and how the sound of running water reminds you that you haven’t pissed since lunchtime. Let these sensations motivate you as you anticipate the ethereal urethral experience to come.


Embrace the Divine Feminine Within

You are now ready to begin: As you stand under the shower, imagine any negativity that surrounds you washing away, revealing the pure, radiant life force within. Close your eyes and picture your body as a sacred vessel built to contain the wisdom of the ages, the essence of femininity and two cans of Diet Coke you just had, which you’re definitely starting to feel right now. As you become one with your body and spirit, now is the time to let go of the mortal ties that bind you. Now is the time to bask in the glorious freedom of your sacred womanhood as you release your cares—and your pee—into the Universe, just like Mother Earth intended. Let the golden beam shoot forth from inside you! Goddess achievement: unlocked.



Take Her With You

The more you perform this rite, the easier it will become to access your inner goddes. Eventually you’ll be able to connect with your goddess wherever you go, even beyond that vinyl curtain. Feel free to use this technique wherever life takes you, such as the ocean, a waterfall, or in the alley on the way home from drinks with Susan.


Your feminine emboldening awaits, just beyond your urethra. Happy awakening!