How to Lucid Dream So You Can Finally Fuck Mitch

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to lucid dream or fuck Mitch? There are many reasons why you shouldn’t fuck Mitch in real life: Maybe Mitch sits across from you at work, or you have a significant other, or you’re attracted to Mitch, but he’s bad at sex. But if you’ve ever wondered about channeling the power of your mind, here’s how to take control of your unconscious mind and lucid dream so you can finally fuck Mitch.


Keep a Dream Journal

Buy a notebook and keep it next to your bed. The moment you wake up, immediately write down what you dreamt. You’ll soon notice patterns and you’ll be that much closer to realize when you’re dreaming and when you’re not. You may be thinking, ‘Wow, this seems like a lot of work.’ Well, yeah! Fucking Mitch will take work on your end, but once you rip his pants off, in your mind and not in real life, you’ll soon realize this was all worth it.


Give Yourself Reality Checks

Throughout your normal day, give yourself reality checks. As you’re walking around your office, you can give yourself the occasional pinch as a reminder that you’re awake and shouldn’t run to Mitch’s desk and unbutton his work shirt and yell “FUCK ME” in front of the whole office. Soon enough, you’ll pinch yourself and realize this is all a dream, and you’re covered in baby oil, and all the way naked and it’s time to fuck Mitch. If you get impatient, just remember your mind’s version of Mitch’s dick definitely won’t disappoint!



Use a Mantra

This is called Mnemonic Induction—you use a repeated phrase to turn dream awareness into a habit. Right before you fall asleep, say to yourself, “I will know I’m dreaming so I can fuck Mitch so good.” Repeat this over and over until you fall asleep. Don’t worry if your boyfriend is in bed next to you; just tell him it’s none of his business and stop prying. All you’re trying is Mitch going down on you until your alarm goes off tomorrow!


Lucid dreaming takes some dedication on your part, but your version of Mitch’s dick is on the other side waiting to do you on a beach your subconscious invented. And if Mitch from work starts to notice you looking at him weird, just fuck him harder in your head!