Holding onto old grudges and hard feelings will only have a negative impact on your life, and it takes up valuable energy that you could be using to stew on more recent events. If you’re looking for a change and ready to let go of old resentments holding you back, here are three tips to help you make room for new ones.
If you’re constantly thinking about the past, then you’re going to completely miss the present. Can’t stop thinking about your “friend” in middle school who zapped your crush with your name, and then he asked you out and you said yes only to have the brutal truth that it was all sick game swiftly and publically revealed? Well, why not shift your focus to what’s right in front of you, like the dishes your roommate left in the sink. Don’t ask her to do them, just really think about how mad you are that she hasn’t.
You probably only have a finite store of anger within your body (we’re not sure, we’re not scientists). Forgive the freshman year roommate who stole your weed, forgive your cousin for being more successful than you even though you were a cooler kid. Then channel all of that anger into some productive like resenting the success of your non-blood-related peers. This bitterness will power you through to great things maybe, but not ill you drop all the baggage of less relevant bitterness.
Focus on yourself.
Letting the wrongdoers of yore live rent-free in your head will prevent you from focusing on your own progress. Instead of thinking about them, think about yourself. For instance, what did that Hinge match who messaged you for three full weeks then wordlessly ghosted think about you? And why? And should you find him on Facebook and ask him why he did that in a move that’s sure to be productive and mutually beneficial? Definitely yes! And you’d never have realized that if you didn’t shift your energy to working on yourself.
So leave the past behind and get ready to focus on the festering resentments of today! You deserve peace of mind, but it doesn’t look like that’s happening for you, so may as well stay current.