While it’s daunting to know just how accomplished your date might be, nothing is more intimidating than a man who lets you know in his bio that he has a second language: sarcasm. That’s a really big deal and something it makes sense to brag about. Here’s how to stay calm and hide just how fucking impressed you are.
Play it Cool
Based on the fact that this guy is fluent in the most difficult language of all, you might find it difficult not to fall into a fit of hysterical laughter at his subversive quick wit. Resist this instinct – as much as you’ll want to laugh at the ironic way he says, “I definitely don’t want dessert” when it’s clear he does, keep it cool. Anything more than a light giggle will give away just how cool you think it is that he speaks this mysterious second language. Try to suppress your laughter when he says something in a certain tone, and he actually means the opposite.
Don’t Try It
During your date, it’s tempting to show off your own sarcastic skills. Do not. Sure, you’ve dabbled in sarcasm, occasionally tried your hand at a clever, monotone observation – but this man is FLUENT. Any attempts you may make at an ironic remark about the restaurant atmosphere or the entree prices will reveal the stark contrast between your skills and his. He has taken the time to learn the intricacies of sarcasm and will pick up on your lack of confidence with the skill. Instead, focus on the way he responds to everything you say with a general sense of distaste and superiority.
Bring Up Your Accomplishments
Obviously, you’re dealing with a very cool, impressive person, as he made sure to let you know ahead of time. That doesn’t mean you should downplay your own achievements, however. Amidst his relatively lukewarm takes on current events, make sure you hint at a few of the things you’re good at, like empathy and lighthearted, conversational humor that doesn’t rely on making people feel bad. Just be prepared for your skills to pale in comparison to his. After all, he is obviously the beloved Chandler of his friend group!
You’re sure to rock this date without him ever knowing how dazzled you are by his wit. Stay calm and at the end of the date you’ll have him saying, “Could I BE more into this woman?”
