How to Get Over Baby Fever by Remembering the Earth is Dying

Babies are so adorable! It’s hard not to succumb to the intoxication of a chubby, perfect face when you’re a woman of childbearing age. But the realities of having a baby are pretty harsh and relentless – so when you feel yourself starting to question whether it’s time to just give in and procreate, remember that our planet is surely dying and there will likely be no habitable planet left for them to inherit. Here’s how:


Remember that the past five years have been the five warmest since people began keeping track in the late 1800s.

Babies smell amazing, but do you really want to bring something that perfect into a world where the oceans might soon be boiling? Think again when you sniff that perfect little head.


Think about how extreme weather events exacerbated in part by climate change killed almost 250 Americans last year.

It’s only natural to wanna hold a chunky gurgly kid that’s all yours to snuggle and kiss, but you really don’t know what you’re getting into. Suppress the urge by imagining the many ways that child’s life could soon be threatened by rising tides and extreme winds. Not so cute anymore, is it?


Studies show that by 2080, New York City could have the climate of Arkansas. Meditate on that when you feel the urge to breastfeed.

One of the joys and curses of babies is all the time they need to spend scrunched up in your loving arms. Seems cozy, until you remember that fall and winter could soon be a thing of the past as we enter a long bright night of eternal heat. Still want a sweaty baby on your chest, now?!



Walk outside and realize this all may soon be gone.

With the havoc late capitalism is wreaking on our planet, there is no telling how or how quickly we will destroy ourselves. Do you really wanna bring a beautiful, cherubic baby here, just to rip this all away from them. We thought not.


There are a lot of reasons not to have children, as perfect as they are – but thankfully climate change has provided you with one very tangible reason why you must not give in to your reproductive urges. Good luck hashing this one out!