How to Cut Out All the People who are Not Obsessed with Your Dog

Dogs are objectively the best things in the world, and if someone isn’t fawning over yours, they are toxic and you shouldn’t be hanging out with them. Although it can be painful to say goodbye to people you care about, they are not serving you if they are not at least as obsessed with your dog as you are. So let the idiots who don’t get that off the leash, so to speak! Here’s how to cut out all the people who are not obsessed with your perfect dog.


Give them the benefit of the doubt.

Though it can be hard to find compassion when someone sees your dog and doesn’t freak out, do your best to try. You never know where they’re coming from: Maybe they were scared of dogs as a kid. Maybe they had a bad experience with a dog growing up. It’s more likely that they’re just cold, broken people who have bad judgment, but give them the benefit of the doubt. You should still absolutely never talk to them again, but you can practice compassion from afar!


Let them down easy.

Sometimes it’s hard to be kind when you know someone is being a bad, stupid bitch. For instance, it is challenging to show even a morsel of respect toward someone who smiled at your dog but didn’t crouch down to rub its ears and say, “Who’s a good boy?” Stay calm when you let them know you’re no longer interested in this relationship, as you find they have bad judgment. No hard feelings, even though they are definitely wrong and you should cut them from your life immediately.



Be firm.

Your “friend” may try to tell you they aren’t feeling very peppy right now or that they’re “just not a dog person”. Don’t forget: There are no excuses for being an absolute dick to your perfect angel dog! You can nod and play along, but deep down remember that the bridge is burned and can never be repaired, because a person who is not obsessed with your dog does not deserve love.


Follow this advice to ensure that all the people who don’t spend night and day thinking about your dog are cut out of your life forever. And if you like cats better, you’re a dumb fucking freak who should talk to someone about that!