High School Glee Club Holds World Record for Longest Harmonized ‘Yasssssss’

In a feat of unwavering perseverance, the “I Knew You Were Treble” glee club of Worcester, MA has just achieved a new world record for the longest harmonized “Yaaasssss” in history.


“It just feels really good to win,” says club treasurer Gabe Jakubowski, whose choral challenge clocked in at six minutes and 42 seconds. He added, “Yaaasssss!”


Witnesses of the event were first shocked to see that the “Yaaasssss” was sustained without the presence or even mention of Lady Gaga.


“We’ve all been confused by the occasional #yaaasssss from the kids,” noted Vicky Delaney, mother of the Glee Club Captain, Kristina Windsor. “The first time I heard the girls in the basement, I thought it was a herd of goats,” Delaney observed.


“I Knew You Were Treble” has been known for their classic rendition of “Amazing Grace,” which has earned them first place in the district choir competition six years in a row. Their catatonic trance of “Yaaasssss” this year, however, led to a disappointing fourth place finish.



“What is this sound you are all making?” asked conductor Robyn Speck. “Is it a drug thing or a sex thing? Do I have to report this?”


“We were just practicing in the field and then someone walked by and looked fabulous,” says soloist Hillary Brennan. “We couldn’t even deal, so we just did what any other award-winning vocal group that can’t even deal with something would do, and sustained a perfectly harmonized #Yaaassssssss until we could even deal again.”


10th grade biology teacher Patricia King, who was walking by the field to her car during the record-breaking event, noted, “It was unique, that’s for sure. A bunch of those tenors kept adding in something about their mama.” She added, “Something about maybe slaying their mama. Should I report this?”


The student whose footwear inspired the #Yaaasssss is rumored to be yearbook editor Jeremy Higgins. When he was asked to comment, reports claim he looked too fabulous for any exchange other than “Yaaasssss,” “Oh my god,” and the most prevalent, “Oh my god, yasssss.”