Whether it’s in a new bag, a pack of vitamins, or maybe in some chips, we’ve all seen them: Silica gel packets are everywhere, but with one catch — we can’t eat them. But why not? Here are four reasons why I decided to eat the silica gel packet that I found under my bed:
It looked yummy.
Gel? Sign me up. After all, I love fruit gushers, boba, and anything kinda chewy. Who cares if it’s silicon, or that it can absorb 40 percent of its own weight in moisture? Because now it’s in my mouth.
The “Do Not Eat” warning on the packet is in “quotes”.
Why would they put the “warning” in quotes if they weren’t being sarcastic about it? How am I supposed to trust a “warning” with such a light, playful tone? And why wouldn’t I read this “warning” as a direct taunt to me as an individual? This silica gel packet was basically daring me to eat it, and I never back down from a dare.
I’ve been too hydrated lately.
It’s true that silica gel packets absorb moisture. That’s why they’re in packages of perishable food or electronics. But if it can keep those things dry and pristine, who knows what kind of wonders it could do for my own human body? Plus, I’ve been drinking a lot of water lately, like over 2 cups a day, so I can afford to lose a few ounces.
I do what I want.
I’m so tired of being told what and what not to put in my body! If I think I deserve to eat the silica gel packet, then by God I will eat it. It’s 2021 and I don’t give a FUCK.
So yeah, I ate the silica gel packet. And yeah, my stomach is starting to really hurt. And yeah, I’m probably gonna call 911 as soon as I finish writing this. But you know what? I did it. I took my fate into my own hands and I’m so much better for it. What did you do today? Check your email? Listen to a song? Ate an actual nutritious meal? Well I ate the silica gel packet, and not many other girls can say that, can they?