Young women have always been born into a world that tells them they can’t do something before they even try. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie once captured this in the phrase, “You should aim to be successful, but not too successful” – but every so often a young, hopeful generation recognizes what’s wrong with the world and bands together to usher in true change for future generations of women to come. That is exactly what these baby TikTok witches rallied together to hex the moon into fucking the sun.
While everyone discounted these teeny-boppers and assumed they were playing with Ouiji boards while watching Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, this ambitious coven congregated to jinx the moon into having gorgeous, but allegedly negative, astrological sex with the sun.
Talk about sisterhood!
According to witchcraft, the moon represents divine feminism and the sun is a total fuckboy. The greater witch community was not pleased upon this news since apparently the moon had just gotten out of this long, healthy relationship with Artemis, the Greek goddess of the hunt? So this wasn’t necessarily a good rebound. But it’s hugely biconic of the moon!
And technically a hex is a curse, and no one knows why someone would just screw with the moon like this. But maybe this isn’t for us to understand. This shift in energy is the improved future the TikTok witches envisioned.
Regardless, WitchTok made the moon fuck the sun.
When asked if the TikTok witches are afraid of the apocalyptic repercussions of going against witchcraft, nature, and gods, ultimately endangering humanity, they quickly replied, “ok, Boomer.” Yas! We stan rebellious teen sorcery!
No one is really sure how this came to be since the motivations seem unclear, and yet, it happened. Also we don’t want to mock these Gen Z sorceresses! Just let them make the moon and the sun fuck! Like, leave these teen girls alone and stop being creepy!
Many are left questioning if hexing the moon was even possible. Some hysterically argue WitchTok is fake while high-profile witches strongly assert the moon is simply too powerful to be hexed into rawdogged the sun.