Healthy Work Environment Still Kind Of Annoying To Be Honest

In a sad but unsurprising story coming out of Silicon Valley, CA, 24-year-old software engineer Madison Meeks has been humbled to find that her extremely healthy work environment still manages to be kind of annoying honestly.


The tech company she works for pays its employees well and has fun perks like Casual Fridays and free lunch on Wednesdays, but somehow this does not make up for the fact that it is still, unfortunately, a work environment.


“I thought I could avoid resenting my job by following my passion and starting with a company whose mission I respect,” said Meeks. “But nope—somehow when I’m there all I want is to not be there.”


Sources confirm that the high salaries and emphasis on team bonding have not precluded the company’s work environment from being sort of the worst, given that Meeks is still forced to socialize with people with whom she has nothing in common but their jobs.


“Sure, we start every meeting with a grounding exercise and finish with a compliment circle,” continued Meeks. “But like…do I care? Why do I have to know these people?”


Reporters confirm that Meeks soon came to the solemn conclusion that she might just not like working.


“Even in the best of circumstances, I don’t think it’s my thing,” she announced from the company’s Nap Nook. “Happy for people who enjoy it, though!”



The company’s CEO, Bradley Mallox, weighed in, saying he’s done everything within his power to make the work environment as enjoyable as possible.


“I mean come on,” said Mallox. “We put up SAD lamps, have plenty of fun activities, we even created a museum wing for employees to think in. If the work environment is still kind of annoying, then I dunno, work itself must be annoying!”


So true, Bradley!


As far as where this realization leaves her, Meeks says, “I guess I’ll just have to stick it out and…work for the rest of my life? Ugh, not going to lie it sounds kind of ick. Sort of bleh.”


At press time, the company’s CEO introduced a “community fun night” that Meeks will feel obligated to go to even though it’s kind of a chore.