For those trying to cut down on caffeine consumption, Austin, TX native Nasim Nazari swears by one simple trick: swapping her one morning latte with multiple cups of green tea throughout the day.
What a life hack!
“Coffee is a legal drug. Do you know how much caffeine is in one cup?” the 28-year-old told reporters. “Green tea is a healthier, more natural alternative with only, like, a little bit of drugs in it.”
Even though the sum total of caffeine Nasim consumes on a daily basis is now higher than ever, she insists that this switch in beverages has changed her life for the better.
“Instead of being super jittery in the morning, now I’m just mildly jittery throughout the day! Plus, no more caffeine crashes since I can’t crash if I never come down.”
Can’t argue with that logic!
“There are also a ton of health benefits – green tea has so many antioxidants and can boost your immune system,” Nasim said while mixing the whipped cream into her matcha frappuccino. “It’s basically like drinking a salad.”
Despite Nasim’s ironclad conviction, those around her have wondered whether this switch is doing more harm than good.
“She keeps saying how it’s a budget hack because tea is cheaper than coffee at cafes,” said her cubicle buddy, Sarah. “But last week I saw a stack of Starbucks receipts at her desk and that was just for one day’s worth of tea. She once earned enough stars in one order to get a free drink in that same order.”
Nasim, however, shrugged off her co-worker’s concern.
“The more you spend the more you save, right? Also, have you seen the price for a cup of coffee nowadays? It’s like six dollars! I’d rather get a three dollar cup of tea five times a day,” Nasim said while refusing to elaborate on the math.
Nasim’s roommate, Lydia, also wonders if her decision to cut down on caffeine has, in fact, increased her dependency on caffeine.
“Any time I see her, she’s drinking some form of green tea – matcha latte, bubble milk tea, a can of Arizona,” Lydia said. “She jokingly called it her ‘IV drip’ yesterday, but I’m pretty sure she’s consuming it at the same rate as an actual IV drip. Not to mention the fact that she’s really stretching the definition of green tea there.”
As of press time, however, Nasim continues to stick to her copious green tea consumption, which analysts conclude has the caffeine equivalent to three cups of coffee.
