If you already snack on carrot sticks dipped in raw almond butter at your desk and openly feast on dressing-free salad for lunch in the break room, it’s time to alienate your coworkers on a whole new level with fruit-infused water! Here are a few easy water recipes to make everyone even more jealous and/or worried about you.
Lemon Slices
It’s a classic detoxifier, yet still a unique workplace drink for anyone who isn’t a receptionist at a yoga studio. For best results, take a glass pitcher of water, fill with lemon slices, throw in some mint leaves, and leave it on your desk like this is something everyone does.
Apple Cinnamon Blend
This comforting autumnal water-snack can be enjoyed year-round! Soak apple slices and cinnamon sticks in water overnight until it takes on the appearance of hangover pee. Then drain through a fine sieve, pour into an airtight bottle and keep taking it into work until everyone stops talking to you.
Tangerine, Kiwi and Strawberry Chunks
This recipe looks like a party in a cup — a silent party for one desk-bound outsider in a cup! The exotic colors of the fruits will attract your coworkers’ attention, but your baffling health choices will repulse them. Make sure not to actually eat the fruit — that’s sugar! Drink this with the confidence that your bowels are being cleansed, while your coworkers are grossed out thinking about how your bowels are being cleansed.
Cucumber Ribbons
Deceptively simple yet undeniably strange, your coworkers won’t be able to walk past your desk without questioning the green bits floating in your water. Get ready to ride the elevator solo, lady!
No matter how brazen your infusion, your colleagues will never stop to ask what the hell is in your glass — they’ll be secretly emailing each other about you later!
